Summer has begun

With all the drama going on with finding a job, I am finding myself decompressing, finally.

While I was out of town, my car was flooded by a massive rainstorm. In the back seat floor of my car was all my documents from the kids. I had my stack of anonymous student surveys, student letters to me, stacks of student essays, performance reviews, and copies of the student petitions.


Although reeking of mildew, and unable to be used again in interviews, I have been drying them on my floor for the past week. Drying, reading, and preserving each one has been a reminder. An orange mouse of sorts.

Those reminders have been continually cropping up over the past weeks as I withdrew from the job hunt. The students asked me to lead them on more Outdoor Club hikes. Unaffiliated with school of course. I happily obliged with parental consent and participation. You can never be too careful in situations such as that. I have another outing with the kiddos in a few weeks.

Tomorrow, I am heading to my former school to join the Environmental Club students in a barbecue, next to the garden I helped them get. I abandoned the club after last year due to my percieved apathy of the students, and the mounting responsibilities of being a Department Chair. My co-sponsor more than came through with the club, and got the garden put in the ground. I decided to create a gift for her.


It says, "Never loose focus of whom you advocate for," and is all native plants. I created it from a toolbox I found in my basement. The person I made it for has recently run afoul of administration, as is their nature. The quote is meant to inspire her to remember she works for the kids, not the directive commandments from the Oz that is administration. She knows that well, and I'm hoping that garden proves motivational. I am going to give this to her tomorrow morning at the barbecue.

I also created it for myself. I want one too, but I promised myself that I would give it away. I have continued my drawn out epiphany that I wouldn't change anything that happened to me, kind of. What happened reaffirmed my career/life choice. Now that stability is on the horizon, I can stop letting the anxiety take over, and really double down on what I've accomplished. After three years, a $10,000 federal grant for a community garden, an active outdoor club, politically active youth in school and out, and beating the system, albeit for a week only, I feel accomplished and proud. Teachers can be the most powerful force in a kid's life and can influence far beyond their classroom. Or, they can fill a space. The former is not me. My need to teach is driven by more than intrinsic value, it is activism. It was the students and community that gave that feeling to me. It is a feeling I will never forget.

Victory.

Found a job. Boy, was I being dramatic.

Notice: the removed head

Orange mice

My cat has this very bizarre fascination with orange mice. Unlike other toy mice, the orange ones never disappear, and linger for months, until finally beheaded. I find them on the futon, under the covers, in the laundry, and in my shoes. Peter likes to hide them in places for me to find them, so I can then throw them and be reminded of his cuteness. For as long as I live, I will probably always associate orange mice with him.

My life now has the constant reminder of what I once was. Orange mice like facebook messages, places, people, and everything I have surrounded myself with, remind me of teaching. It is impossible to escape, or remove from my mind.

The job hunt thus far has been an anxiety ridden roller coaster ride. At the end is financial and personal doom. I am 0-7 on the interview front, persistently second place. Everyone is keeping my resume in case another position opens. That matters little, because you are either first or last. This blog has become another orange mouse. It is now something I will purge from my life until life improves. Teaching was never a job, it was a calling. And right now I cannot stand being marooned. See you in a week, or a year, who knows.

You know you're doing something right when...

You find your students registering people to vote at PrideFest.
You find others there who say they are praying for you to find a job.

Found another student in head to toe purple body paint and a feather headdress looking at the bongs for sale. Totally hysterical.

Interviewing update.

I have been applying like mad for jobs in the area. The first round of interviews has resulted in one terrible offer of $18,000 no benefits, three denials, two pending, and one upcoming.

I have a third round interview coming up in the next two days. Fingers crossed.

Not even the fucking dignity of a phone call.

I hate job hunts. Two interviews, and this is what I get.

Per instruction from the interviewing committee for the job # 585413, I would like to thank you for interviewing with us. At this time you were not selected for this position. You are welcome to apply for future openings that we may have.

Thanks.

Summer "break"

Summer is upon us. This is the time of year I am incessantly reminded by snide assholes that I get paid for doing nothing. The true welfare queens of the modern era. Nevermind the fact that my summer pay is payment for services already rendered, and districts stretch out the pay over 12 months so that teachers don't return in August emaciated and starving because they blew all their money in Vegas back in June.

Ah, but I am now a welfare queen in more than one way. Unemployment insurance! Today I get to file a claim because I am officially unemployed. The government teat is sweet. Maybe I can milk this for 99 weeks and earn our bad reputation.

Since being placed on leave after the student protest, I have been an applying and interviewing fool. It brings back all the terrible memories of applying straight out of college. Over 100 districts, a dozen job fairs, no bites. Non-stop anxiety and confusion. This time around is different though, and I'm hoping I get picked up in the first round of interviews. Then I can enjoy my summer with the comforting knowledge that I will have a paycheck for the next twelve months.

The other day, the students put in the $7,000 community garden from my club, and a teen political summit was organized by a State Senator who was inspired by my student's protest. Awesome accomplishments for a four year teacher I think. That State Senator now wants to give me a job working for her during the summer. Sweet government teat.

One of the more striking realizations from the garden and political summit, was the complete lack of interest by the district or media, despite invites. I suppose it is just another painful reminder that nobody gives a shit about education anyway. They just wave their hand and expect magic to happen, and when it doesn't, they criticize and then forget. Oh, well. Perhaps that is best. Stay out of my way and we'll all be better off.