While I was out of town, my car was flooded by a massive rainstorm. In the back seat floor of my car was all my documents from the kids. I had my stack of anonymous student surveys, student letters to me, stacks of student essays, performance reviews, and copies of the student petitions.
Although reeking of mildew, and unable to be used again in interviews, I have been drying them on my floor for the past week. Drying, reading, and preserving each one has been a reminder. An orange mouse of sorts.
Those reminders have been continually cropping up over the past weeks as I withdrew from the job hunt. The students asked me to lead them on more Outdoor Club hikes. Unaffiliated with school of course. I happily obliged with parental consent and participation. You can never be too careful in situations such as that. I have another outing with the kiddos in a few weeks.
Tomorrow, I am heading to my former school to join the Environmental Club students in a barbecue, next to the garden I helped them get. I abandoned the club after last year due to my percieved apathy of the students, and the mounting responsibilities of being a Department Chair. My co-sponsor more than came through with the club, and got the garden put in the ground. I decided to create a gift for her.
It says, "Never loose focus of whom you advocate for," and is all native plants. I created it from a toolbox I found in my basement. The person I made it for has recently run afoul of administration, as is their nature. The quote is meant to inspire her to remember she works for the kids, not the directive commandments from the Oz that is administration. She knows that well, and I'm hoping that garden proves motivational. I am going to give this to her tomorrow morning at the barbecue.
I also created it for myself. I want one too, but I promised myself that I would give it away. I have continued my drawn out epiphany that I wouldn't change anything that happened to me, kind of. What happened reaffirmed my career/life choice. Now that stability is on the horizon, I can stop letting the anxiety take over, and really double down on what I've accomplished. After three years, a $10,000 federal grant for a community garden, an active outdoor club, politically active youth in school and out, and beating the system, albeit for a week only, I feel accomplished and proud. Teachers can be the most powerful force in a kid's life and can influence far beyond their classroom. Or, they can fill a space. The former is not me. My need to teach is driven by more than intrinsic value, it is activism. It was the students and community that gave that feeling to me. It is a feeling I will never forget.
