Pause

I'll always remember being woken up on a Friday morning in July. My wife called, saying she wanted to be the one to let me know before everyone else started calling. We didn't know yet if any of my former students were involved, but the news was reporting dozens of wounded, and unknown dead. Some psychopath went into a movie theater with a ballistic vest and helmet, and sprayed bullets into a defenseless crowd. I spent the next few hours contacting people and checking to see if anyone was hurt. Thankfully for my students, the bullets missed them, or,  they were off work that night and were not there. Somehow, you can buy military gear designed for Falluja, to hunt dear I assume. The peace vigil with my students the following day was as close as I'll ever come to religion.

The tragedy in Connecticut left me speechless. I was teaching 4th period, the last before finals week. My students were working on their silhouette projects, researching on their phones. I had read initial reports of a shooting over lunch, but I was shocked when I began to hear of the carnage. Some psychopath walked into an elementary school spraying bullets into defenseless classrooms. It was a powerful moment for me as I thought about how just the previous day we had a lock down drill for these kinds of situations. All I could think was "For fuck's sake... elementary kids..." As I looked around the room, I couldn't help but pause and think about my school and my students.

What a strange country we live in where we have to live in a state of continual preparation for gun wielding maniacs coming into our schools and gunning down children and teachers. It's something you think about from time to time. After running into an altercation or disciplinary situation with a student, you think about it. I've thought about my odds, what I'd do in a situation, how to escape, how to protect the kids. Our school is so wide open to the community, any wingnut can come in at any time. Thinking about such things however, is a waste of mental energy.

I fear that nothing will change from this tragedy. Whether it be access to mental health care or gun control. The opposite is also terrifying, that our schools will have airport like security. Something needs to change. Any country that breeds killers who massacre helpless victims in schools, theaters, college campuses, and foreign cities is ill, and needs to face fundamental change. Otherwise, we'll live in a world of worrying about whether we're going to die in an airplane, school, city street, or skyscraper.

Strangely enough, Jon Stewart tackled this topic on Monday.  You can watch it here.